A Recurring Dream...

Okay, so I might be the only person on God's green earth that this happens to... but every once in a while I have a recurring dream. Yes, I might be crazy! It all started with one dream. One idea. One place. One person. Now typically, I don't even remember my dreams. I usually just wake up, wipe the sleep from my eyes and the drool from my mouth and think to myself, "Why can't I be independently wealthy and never have to wake up early again?!?!"

Anyway, back the dream. It all started when I was a freshman in college. I started having this dream. It's one of those that you don't want to wake up from because it is so magnificently wonderful. But it is also one of those that when you do wake up, you wonder why in the world you dreamt it in the first place!!! Try as I may to get rid of this dream, it always comes back. It makes me blissfully happy for about 5 or 6 hours ( depending on what time I finally went to sleep and what time I have to pry myself away from my pillow), and then when I do wake up, I'm left heartbroken and my mind forces me back to reality.

I used to love this dream. I used to wish for it and want for it with all my might. Then I realized that it only hurt me. It played with my heart and then ripped it open. I would begin to wonder if it was a sign of things to come, and then only to be left with the cold reality that it was not to be. It in fact, was just a dream.

As the years have gone by, I haven't had this dream as much. It hasn't come as often, and I am thankful. I had almost even forgotten this little thing that taunts me so...

.. until I dreamt this dream again last night. It was the same as I had always remembered. The place was different, but the idea the same. It was just as wonderful as I had always remembered. Just the same as I had always remembered. ... but when my alarm clock came blaring in and ruining my tiny little moment of bliss, I was left with that same sickening feeling, and my heart ached once again.

I don't know why that dream still haunts me or what lesson might be hiding in there somewhere, but I wish it would go away. I'm afraid it was never meant for me anyway.