Warning... I'm a bit emotional!

In the midst of all my morning rituals, business, etc... this particular morning, I happened across a very disturbing email that was sent to me. See, I had been planning this big Thanksgiving feast for my team at work an we were scheduled to do that today so I had a lot of loose ends that needed tying before 12:00 pm. I was trying to make sure that the ham was picked up on time and that everyone had brought their covered dish, and that we had enough plates, napkins, and silverware for everyone... so when I sat down and read this email, it completely stopped everything for me... right in it's track. 

One of the employees that I have had the pleasure of knowing in my time with Paetec, passed away Sunday night in a plane crash. He was heading to Nebraska for a hunting trip and the plane went down. I'm not exactly sure of what caused the crash but I know as I read that email, right there in that instant, I was completely devastated. I'm not going to say that I knew him well or even that we were "close" as some tend to say about people that have passed, but I did know him well enough to know that he had a family he loved that he would be leaving behind, and that no one should have to endure an end such as that. I really hope that he was a Christian.

Death is a funny thing, you know. You don't really ever know when it is coming, and when it does, everything changes. I can't stop thinking about this poor man's family so close to the holidays.. and as I started my morning flustering around trying to get things done for our Thanksgiving meal, I never once stopped to think of how thankful I was to be with the people around me... at least not until I read that email. As a daughter, and now a wife, it absolutely kills me to think of what his loved ones are going through at the moment. Every time that it comes to mind, my eyes just well up and my heart aches... and if you know me, you should KNOW that I'm not a crier. 

With all of this in mind, I will say that the thing I am most thankful for this year is my family. I want to let them know how much I love them and appreciate them. I want to be thankful for the time that I have to spend with them and I want to make the most of it. This year I'm not going to let myself get caught up in the planning and labor of the holidays, but I'm going to stop and take time to appreciate the people that I'm with and time that I'm able to spend with them. 

I hope that you will do the same. 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

I want casserole friends!

I'm sure you might have just raised an eyebrow or two reading the headline of this post, but it is 100% truth. I'll do my best to explain...

If I am sick, or if there is a tragedy, or some kind of crisis going on in my life, I don't want my friends to stalk my facebook page to figure out what's going on, or discuss my life happenings with others. I want them to call me up, tell me they love me, and bring me a casserole! Few girls have that luxury.

However, I have really been blessed in that department. On my wedding day, I looked around the room at my bridesmaids and I thought to myself for a moment... there wasn't one girl in the room that I did not consider to be a true friend. I know that they all love me and I love them, and I have no doubts that if the time ever came, my house would be just full of casseroles! I would also be sending them just the same!

When I was a little girl my grandpa told me, "one day you'll see that you can count your true friends on one hand." I thought he was plum-crazy! I considered everybody my friend! I had two best friends that I knew for sure would be my best friends forever. However, my grandpa was right... for the most part. I rarely even speak to my two best friends anymore... and when I do, its more like running into an old acquaintance in the grocery store.

I always try to be a good friend. Now, I'm not claiming to be any kind of superhero friend, but I do the best that I can. I want to be there for the ones I love, as I know that they would be there for me. As I've gotten older, I've really learned who my casserole friends are... and unfortunately I've also run across a few fair weather ones as well. As I continue to grow, I want to make as much time as I can for my casserole friends.

It isn't always going to be sunny, so I want to know who will pull on their stylish rainboots and weather the storms of life with me.

I guess that's just what old married couples do...

Isn't it funny how when we were growing up, we would say "I will never," or "I will not," or "I don't want..."
You know what I mean... like, "I will never have a desk job!" or "I will not be a home body" or even "I don't want to have to pay bills!" I'm pretty sure I've said all of those things... but I guess that's just what grown ups do!

We can't all be rock stars... and when I get home from work during the week, the last thing I want to do is leave! ... and if I don't pay the bills, I won't have power... or water... or heat! This is not the dream that I was hoping for when I was younger, but I'm settling into it.

If you haven't noticed that your desires change as you get older, you might want to check your brain. When I was younger, all I wanted to wear were pink sparkly ballgowns and tiaras, while waving my magical wand around, granting every wish that came to mind. I guess that's just what kids do! Not a care in the world and using our imagination to dream up the most impossible things! Now... while I still think that would be super cool... I doubt that anyone would consider me sane if I were to go walking around like that now. Don't you agree?

Moving on.

When I was younger, I imagined marriage to be the most magical thing of all. I considered it to be wildly romantic, expecting my husband to cater to my every whim. I just knew that monetary things wouldn't matter because we would be rich anyway and we could go on vacations to anywhere, whenever we wanted. As long as we were together, nothing else would matter, right?

So now I'm married. I have to plan my vacations around my work schedule... and even then, we can't really afford to go anywhere spectacular! Our evenings usually consist of fast food meals and pre-recorded television shows. Our big night out has become Outback Steakhouse one night a week, and that is a stretch in the budget too!

Yet I still consider myself to be the luckiest girl I know. While my husband is far from being "wildly romantic," I know that he loves me more than anything. He takes care of me when I don't feel very good, and he's always looking out for my best interest. He tries to give me everything that my little heart desires, and he makes it a point to show me that he loves me at least once a day. He kisses me before he tells me goodnight, and he even takes Chloe out in the wee hours of the morning to go potty so that she doesn't wake me.
We look forward to our Wednesday date nights and our most favorite thing is to have a glass of wine and snuggle together on the couch. He helps with the dishes and he even takes out the trash!

Now I know this scenario is much different from the one that I imagined, but it seems to suit me just fine. I'm happier than I could have ever imagined.

So we might just so happen to be two people that have to work, pay bills, and thoroughly enjoy staying at home... but I guess that's just what old married couples do.

It Has Only Just Begun.

I'm a married lady now. It still feels a little funny. Not much about my relationship with Kyle has changed so when it comes up in conversation or something happens to remind me of our new union, I get butterflies and have to giggle to myself just a little. I kept staring at our rings while we were on our honeymoon and I even had to pinch myself a few times to remind myself that it wasn't just a dream.

That being said, I could not have imagined a more perfect wedding (with the exception of showing up to MY OWN wedding 30 minutes late)!!! It was such a beautiful day and I was so overwhelmed with the love and support of our family and friends! The honeymoon was absolutely fabulous and we had the BEST time together. It is so much fun traveling with your husband! We did a lot of eating while we were there though, so I'm paying for that now.... : /

It took a while for us to adjust to coming home. First there's the time change- Hawaii is 6 hours behind us! Then Rock Hill doesn't really have a good view of the mountains or the turquoise ocean water... that is a hard one. And the worst of all was returning to work on Tuesday. I felt physically ill going in. I was trying to think of any possible alternative so that we could go back Hawaii and live there. I don't mind being a beach bum. So what if I have to eat pineapples and coconuts for the rest of my life! I could be a wedding planner or something there. It could work, right?

This week feels a little more normal, but we are still dealing with the post-wedding blues. We are thinking of planning another vacation ASAP so we can have something to look forward to.

I'm trying to get used to being a good little wifey. I'll have to post on my failures and feats. Tonight I'm making White Chicken Chili for dinner. I'll let you know how it goes. :)