God has a funny way of showing up right when you need him... even if you don't know that you need him right then. This weekend was so wonderful and exactly what I needed! I was so overwhelmed with the love of God and for the first time in a long time I felt refreshed. I feel renewed and revived and I am even more in love with my Jesus!
However, this weekend also lead me to think... a lot... and this is what is on my heart...
Every day lately seems to bring a new realization to me that I'm not getting any younger. Don't get me wrong... I'm only 23, but I'm not 22 anymore. I'm not 19 anymore, and I'm not a timid 18 year old trying to figure out what the future holds for her anymore. Now I'm almost a 24 year old who is getting ready to be married and start a family of her own. You might even think that I am a nut for just realizing this....
When I was younger, I had big dreams for myself! I knew that one day I wanted to be in full-time ministry, traveling the world, singing and leading worship everywhere I went. I was 200% sure this is what God had planned for my life! Today the biggest decision I made is whether or not to attend my spinning class tonight at 6:00. When did I go from a teenager with big ambitions to a young adult who just lives day to day life? Is this part of getting older?
A couple of weeks ago, our pastor made a statement that struck through me like a lightning bolt. He said "We can live our entire lives as Christians and STILL miss out on the plan that God has for us." Wow! What a miserable life that would be! I know God has bigger plans for me than the ones that I have for myself. I've always known that. But what are they? How do I get from where I am to where He wants me to be? What is my purpose? Will I ever be that traveling worship leader that my heart longs to be?
I am incredibly happy to be marrying the man of my dreams and I'm counting down the days until I am his and he is mine. But what next? Where do we go from here?
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I’m glad you had a great weekend all around! I feel like that too sometimes. I have to hope though, especially for my sake, that any plans God has for us going forward He will make completely evident at the right time because I’m not good at subliminal hints. Anyway, it’s kind of like my blog this weekend only yours isn’t as depressing as mine was :) I wonder when time really did start to fly and all the plans meshed into just trying to make it day to day? Just remember that Kyle, and your marriage, they are all part of the plan and when the timing’s right, He will direct y’alls steps exactly where they need to go next!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad I missed this weekend :( but I'm thrilled you had an awesome time!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know I feel exactly the way you do!! **sigh** it's so frustrating, but we have to keep faith that God will guide us and that we're currently in the spot he wants us to be in...it's hard to remember that sometimes, I know.
It is so hard! But I'm not going to worry about it. I know his plan will be revealed all in due time.. and just think... if I were that traveling worship leader like I had always hoped, maybe I wouldn't be with Kyle right now and then I wouldn't have ever gotten to meet you!!! Oh, and don't worry! You are going on the next one! If I have to drag you there, you won't believe how awesome it is!!! :)
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